The story of my life
by xlove-me-for-mex
Summary: this isnt twilight based but around the idea. Its about a gilr who has moved from home after an accident. Contains self harm, drinking, sex and drugs later
1. Chapter 1

**Hey go bitch it you dnt like it but I think its ok! **

Stood there, staring at the screen with the arrival and departure times of the train I knew I was still not sure if I really wonted to go. This was I knew what was best for everyone else but I was not convinced that it was what was right for me entirely. When I was shore what platform I was getting on and what time the train was coming in I decided to go for a cup of coffee in the café. Dragging the huge haul of cloths and stuff I had I reached the overly orange sign of the café. There were a few tables littered across the small room, some of these tables had people with the noses deep in books or newspapers, but only one table caught my eye. Sat on what looked very uncomfortable red chairs straight out of an eighties dinner with a chrome table to match was a boy sat with his well rounded nose in a book. He looked medium height from what I could see, with the most incredible features. He had dark blue purple eyes sat lightly in his face with pale skin and jet black hair to make his amazing features stand out, with an off set smile to raise his eyes from his book. For a moment that seamed to last forever he caught my eye line making me very aware of where I was. His off set smile crept up his face ever growing in size. His pink lips rolled back in the increasing height of his smile to revile a set of gloriously white teeth. I glanced away increasing the heat in my face particularly in my cheeks. I was blushing. At that point I thought it wise to go to the platform I was meant to be on by the announcement over the speakers calling that my train was going to be the next train to arrive on platform 3. Once again I hauled my bag down the set of never ending stairs. When I reached half way I was sure the load had suddenly grown a lot lighter almost as if I was no longer carrying it. As I turned my head to see what had happened, my blonde hair caught in my eyes making it difficult to see. I removed the hair from my eyes, to catch the face of the insanely beautiful boy from the café who was now helping me carry my bag down the stairs.

"Thank you" I said with an uneasy tone

"I couldn't help but cease the moment a lady needed my help" witch by now I was thinking must be all the time around him and his breath taking good looks. Just able to move my feet I heaved the bag onto the final step and rolled it along to were I needed to be, luckily there was a lift up the platform so I didn't have to clime the steps back up with my bag- I was sure someone had put a body in. the boy had darted the second I turned to say thanks once again for helping me with my bag but he had vanished. As the lift pulled to an uneasy stop with the extra load of me and my bag as well as other passengers of the train, the doors roared open. The train was sat inpaicantly waiting for the last few passengers. I was now sat at a table with four chairs bigger than I needed but maybe someone also going to my stop would sit there and keep me company on the way. As the train started to move I settled into my seat warm and soft on my back. I glanced out my window watching the last of the city views flash away with a last plead for me to change my mind. I knew that would never happen as I had to go now.

"Well it seams that I cant stay away from you" a voice said in a way that seamed like caramel running out of a chocolate. I managed to drag my neck away from the window just to make my decision so much better. The face of that extremely beautiful boy was staring at me with excitement in his eyes.

"Well it would seam that way, wouldn't it?" I said not wonting to see if I left him standing there to long that he would lose that glorious look in his eyes.

"Do you mind?" he said gesturing towards the two chairs opposite that I had made my resting place for my feet. Before I could have agreed he was sitting down placing his small bag at his side in the other chair. Trying to read the other felling going across his face it seamed he was trying to do the same to me.

"So where you off to" he said once he'd caught my eye line again.

"Kewstoke" I said with a slight annoyance in my voice

"It's in Weston-super-Mare you?" I asked politely

"Near there myself. What brings you down this way with such a load?"

"Moving house, I think that seams to balances having such a large heavy bag you?

"Going home, just been down to visit family" he said with his rising smile creeping across his face. He seamed extremely easy to talk to. I let my eyes wonder back to the window I let them creep back out to what was now fields. The lushes green grass was filled with tiny rabbits and the occasional deer. There were some cows as well, I loved watching cows because they always seamed so happy with there simple little lives not knowing that really there were getting fat to be taken to slorter and eaten. He pulled a very large iteam that looked like it was meant for holding music an I was more sure of this as he placed two head phones in his ears, it made my little 4gig mp3 look pathetic. I was sure it was an 80gig just from looking at it, I had seen it in the catalogue when choosing mine for Christmas. This sent a shudder down my back I didn't won't to think about Christmas or any thing that involved my family, although I knew that going to live with my aunty and uncle would not help this as they were both photographers and had hundreds of family photos. I gave myself one look at him before I was going to put my headphones in as well. This I instantly regreated because he was also looking at me, I thought trying to read my face as I thought about bad memories.

" I feel rude for not saying, Hi im Corban what's your mane?" he seamed to have taken the look on my face as I was upset by his rudeness. I think the past year had made my face deceiving to everyone, even me.

" Hi Corban im Lilly"

"Its very nice to meet you Lilly, please excuse my rudeness in not introducing myself" he seamed to be very serious this would have brought a giggle if it weren't for the sweet sent of his breath, I was quite sure that mine did not replace the same sweet smell but rather the opposite. This made my heart race and my face blush because I was even more aware that he was staring at me, but he seamed to be in pain.

"Im sorry did I offend you in some way" before the accident I was not quite so rude but I didn't care anymore. That's the only reason I didn't mind going to live with my aunt and uncle.

"No" his answerer caught me off guard like I had upset him now, but I didn't care I let him get back to his music so his sweet breath would not come over me again. I started to rummage through the songs on my mp3 until I found a very load song that was going to drawn out his being there, that I soon realized was not going to happened I almost came to moving so that I wouldn't have to look at his face and see what he was thinking, not that I cared. The stations seamed to fade into one and I was soon getting ready to leave my seat and this very beautiful man behind I was sure that he wasn't going to get off at this stop, I would have seen him around on my holiday trips up here. As I marched to the door and hauled my bag out of its little hole in the train I knew he was helping me carry it again because it was light again like nothing was there, I didn't bother saying thank you this time because I saw the little cute family that stood there waiting for me, I knew we were on time so I didn't know why they were looking at me so weird. Then the cousin that liked me the least witch happened to be the one I was forced with as I was growing up because he was the same age as me eighteen started running towards me, but when he got close enough he went round me.

"Cor how's you?" he seamed to know the boy that had helped me with my bags twice today. The boy seamed to give me a quick glance that seamed to be a little like frustration like he'd been wonting to talk to me when we got off the train.

"Hey Ben, im good thanks what you doing down here?" this question seamed to be more aimed at me because now the rest of the family had come closer.

"Nothing much just getting family" Ben throw me a look that was not impressed.

"Hey Corban, how are you?" my aunt also seamed to know this lovely boy they were all now listen to wait for the boys reaction but he only seamed to be staring at me more with those frustrated eyes.

"Im good thank you Mrs F" he never left my eyes when he spoke to my aunt.

"Well we will give you a lift back to your house seen as we are here and we have the big car we might as well, we're just going to dive the long way back to give Lilly here a view of the town before she go's off collage tommore"

"Thanks Mrs F I would love a lift" the boy called Corban was going to never take his eyes off me and now he was going in the car with us o that would make my day I was sure. At least being driven home the long way did have some advantages, for one I got to see how far I was going to have to drive the little car I had driven up the week before with most of my stuff before I went back for the rest and to say goodbye, but it also meant that I could find all the pubs and clubs on the way so I knew how far I would have to walk once I got to there house. I loved the fact that I was now eighteen because it meant I could easily forget my troubles of the accident in the pub, drinking I know was not going to solve the guilt I felt with my self but I did other things, more painful and lasting things to make sure I got all the gilt I felt out on myself and not just the people who were in talking distance either. I was glad that my Nan and granddad did not find out about this little habit but I knew that I would not be able to keep it from my aunt very well I was so glad that I had a lot of long and drapy cloths and jackets to cover anything I didn't wont them to see. Once inside there huge house I was taken by the vast amount of light that seamed to shine from every side of the walls. There cream walls now added to the show home feel. I knew my aunt was so glad that all the children had grown up so she could have her show home, with cream walls, dead wood and a fake fire, shed tried to seal the idea to my mum and dad but they were far to in to colour on the walls for that. I could see the bright red paint of the bedroom wall that I had spent the many months after the accident in, under the huge dove that draped over their vast bed. The small photos of me, them and the odd picture of old pets that just like them had died. That room now held not good my miserable memories for me, I knew I had about 30 minutes to find a pub or I was going to start crying right here right now!

"Is it ok if I go walking to get a feel for the place?" I asked in a subdued tone not wonting to hurt their feelings as they were taking me into their home when they didn't have to.

"Sure we can all go together, the dog would love a nice walk along the sea front o Seth get the stuff we need for a walk…"

"Id like to go alone if that's ok? I have a mobile I will ring if I get lost"

"O well that's fine dear you have fun" my aunt seamed reluctant to let me go alone.

"I could walk with her for a bit I am headed in that direction" Ben sighed he didn't wont his friend to have anything to do with me it sounded like.

"That would be very nice of you Corban im sure Lilly wouldn't mind some company for a while" I really did but it seamed that this would get them off my case so I just agreed and garbed my bag with my purse and phone in and headed for the door.

"So witch way you headed?" he seamed to guess my urgency of getting read of him.

"O im not going home im headed to the pub I thought I would join you for a drink" I didn't know if the look on my face had been so obvious as to my surprise that he knew that I was going to the pub or what, but he laughed. "Don't try and tell me that's not were your going, I hope you don't mind that I tag along?" he seamed to really be curious that I might care.

"No I don't mind, but I do drink fast and I will probably only be going to the pub for a few the heading to the shop and then park" I didn't know why I was telling him this when it was showing that I had a drinking problem.

"That's cool could I tag along all night?"

"Yeah sure why not?" we carried on walking till we came to a small pub and I turned in not even looking back once, I didn't even stare at the front long enough to know what it was called. He reached out an caught my wrist before I went through the next set of doors.

"I don't think we should go in here" He seamed to have a very weary tone in his voice.

"Why not it's a pub, it has alcohol, unless that's why you don't wont to go in?"

"No its not that I just don't think its very safe" his tone was getting angry like I had offended him

"What did you hustle someone the last time you were in here…" I started to laugh, but he didn't seam at all amused but I went through the doors anyway ignoring the fact he was still holding my wrist with freezing cold hands.


	2. Chapter 2

As the doors didn't swing shut I guessed he was still following me in to the pub, why was he so scared of coming in here? If he was going to tag along with me all night he was not going to bring me down to his bad mood. As I strode to the bar I suddenly realised all they eyes in the pub looked at me, like I was not supposed to be in here, then at the exact same moment they all went back to Corban. Maybe this was why he didn't wont me to come in here, I now realised that's what he was trying do, keep me out. When I final got to the bar, the sound of all the talking and the music came back to life, the bar tender was there already but so was Corban.

"I think ill have a pint Jim. And Lilly what do you wont?" both Corban and Jim stared at me.

"Ill have double vodka and coke and a pint please" Jim walked off picking up two glasses on the way and retrieving a smaller one near the top of the bar.

"I see what you mean about drinking now" Corban started to laugh but still uneasy.

"Ill let you go after your first if you wont, I wouldn't won't too embarrass you" he laughed at this to. When our drinks came I drank the vodka and coke quickly and then most off the pint. Corban was also nearly finished when another very good looking man not as lovely as Corban but close, came over to wear we stood but he looked at Corban and then stood by me.

"Hey Corban who's your little friend?" this boy seamed to almost smell me when he mentioned me.

"This is Bens cousin, you know my friend Ben from school, Lilly here will be joining us tommore" They both stared at each other for what seamed like hours while I drank the rest of my drink

"Thirsty were we?" the new boy asked me, this was a rhetorical question.

"Yes, thank you, but Im off now, I guess ill see you around" I started to walk again but Corban was already at my side. I eyed him up and down I had expected him to stay with the boy at the bar and Jim.

"Sorry about that, that was my brother Sebastian. He can be a bite nosy. So I guess we're off to the shop now then" we both walked at a very fast past but we were soon at the shop. I didn't know were the alcohol was in this particular shop I hadn't been here before. Corban had though and we went straight there. I walked straight past him because he was stood in front of the beer, I wonted something stronger and easier to drink, after awhile anyway. I picked up the strongest bottle of vodka they had it was 40, nothing compared to some of the polish stuff but I would wait and order that off line. I picked up another just in case one didn't do it tonight.

We walked in through the top of the park and found the nearest bench. The park was very dark even though it must have only been seven or eight, it didn't bother me that I couldn't really see, and it didn't even really bother me that he had to hold my hand to find our way through the dark night, His hands seamed to be very cold but I put that to the weather. Staring out at the empty park not knowing if I should offer some to him because I did have two bottles or if I should even drink it neat in front of him. I decided that it didn't matter the worst he could do was tell on me, and even then all that my aunt and uncle could do was stop me going out, and I didn't see that as being hard to do in this small town. So I unscrewed the cap and put the bottle to my lips hesitating, did I really won't to start my stay here with the first nice person I'd met think im an alcoholic? Did I really won't to get completely plastered and have to have my first day at school tommore? It was too late by then the taste had hit my mouth and I had subconsely started to drink it, I thought this a little odd maybe I was turning into an alcoholic? I had already drunk about half before he said anything.

"Your making me trying to stop what I wont to do very hard you know?" he seamed to be clenching his fits into balls on his knees, I wonder why my drinking was making his self control harder to keep over what he wonted?

"Why are you planning to kidnap me and kill me off?" I started to chuckle until I met his gaze this was odiously not the time for games

"Are you?" my tone was now more serious. His body started to tighten next to me.

"Something like that maybe, I was hoping that you would drink a lot and make it easy for me to make that the excuse but I don't wont to do it now.." he seamed to be keeping something from me that was linked to what he was saying, I knew he was only saying this much because he knew I would forget it in the morning. I drank the rest of my bottle and we sat in silence. I waited for the numbness that the alcohol brought and the warming it made in my stomach when I drank to much, I was starting to get warm from it I could feel it in my cheeks. He sighed next to me, I turned to see why he was sighing but he was staring at me in disbelief.

"Its not normal for someone to drink that much and not be at the very least tipsy" I looked to see what he was going on about I was already on my second bottle. I knew this was going to be a very expensive habit, especially seen as I would have to start drinking more and more every time.

" Well im not a normal person, it would seam that my body takes what it needs from the alcohol and puts it to better use than normal people do" he looked at me like I had gone insane, I think I had, or maybe it was just the vodka who knew. At that point I knew that the vodka was starting to kick it because everything was starting to get a funny haze. It was about time as well I had just drunk two seventy CL bottles of vodka. Corban looked at me, he seamed to making a decision, I think it was weather or not to take me home or to leave me here.

"Do you wont me to take you home now?" I started to chuckle maybe all this alcohol was making me physic.

"Is that a no?" he was growing impatient with my dithering.

"Well I think maybe we should start to head home an then it can kick in when im safe in bed" he knew I was right from the fact he let me gather myself before steadying me so I didn't fall flat on my face right at his feet.

We walked home slowly just to make sure that I didn't fall flat on my face. I was growing more and more unsteady as the vodka started to settle into my system. Corban pulled a face as if he smelled something disgusting.

"Do you know why people get more drunk off of sprits?" he asked me in a serious tone.

"Yes because sprits go straight into the blood stream and that's why you get alcohol poisoning, because you drink it too quickly and it gets in your blood to quickly" I was sure my words were starting to slur. I picked up the pace because I could now see the house and I wonted to be a little coherent when I got in.

"Well I see that your very informed, I cant think why that would be" as he said the last part he started to eye me up and down.

"Are you trying to insinuate something with that look or did I offended you in some way?" I had started to wobble by now I didn't believe I would be ok to go back to the house in this state. So I sat on the curb and lay down. I knew this was not the last thing I wonted him to remember about me, that I was some silly girl who drank to much and slept on the streets to ovoid her relatives. But to my surprise he came and sat by me I knew that anything he said now I wouldn't remember in the morning because I was still not sure what was actually happening.

"I think this is the most sensible thing you've done all night… if your going to get drunk like this before you go home them maybe on your first night in town then maybe you shouldn't go home they wouldn't be pleased" as he spoke he pulled out a phone and put it to his ear he was talking to who ever he was on the phone to.

"Right then are you ok to be carried?" I didn't understand what he was asking me really but I nodded anyway. Before I knew it I was in his arms.

"What are you doing, I weigh like a tone put me down I can walk im sure" this time the words did come out slurred but he seamed to understand me just because he started to laugh.

"You cant even talk I don't think you can walk im going to take you back to my place and you can sleep it off their" I was about to demand that he put me down an let me walk. But were to far away from the house now I would defiantly not be able to make it back without falling now, how was he walking so fast with me in his arms? He didn't even look like he was struggling. His breathing was even, the look on his face was the only thing that looked like it was struggling and I didn't know why that was. We had reached a tall building with several windows with bright lights shinning out of them, I wondered what time it was, I was sure it couldn't be that late it wouldn't be that late with this many lights on. We walked in through the door big enough for both of us and he headed for the stairs there seamed to be a lot of them, I was now sure that we were in a building of flats.

"You… cant… carry…Me…up…all…those…stairs" I had to say it slowly because I was sure that it would be too slurred to be hared properly, and he did seamed to understand my slow talk.

"Don't worry your not at all heavy, if I didn't think you would just through it right back up id give some food with high fat quantises" he was laughing with himself I didn't understand a word he was saying I was far to drunk, I didn't know why he was using such big words when I was this drunk? He ran up the stairs I wish I would remember this in the morning so that I could thank him but I was sure that I wouldn't and I didn't think that this glorious boys girlfriend would like it very much if I stayed. I knew he had a girlfriend because someone this lovely, kind and good looking wasn't single or didn't stay single for very long. That must have been who he was on the phone to. There was a light knock on the door. I didn't know how id ended up on his sofa and I couldn't really see what the room really looked like, this was defiantly the wrong thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a slight ringing in my head as I woke with the sun light in my eyes. It was like someone had opened the curtains to a very bright day. I started through very hazy eyes and I felt like I was still drunk I was sure I must look very much a mess. I didn't know were I was as I couldn't remember much of last night. When my eyes focused I could see that the curtains of this small living room were open letting a large amount of light through the huge window. I started to pull myself up and felt a sudden surge of shock were I realized how dizzy I was. I hauled myself off the sofa and stood up still not sure were I was all I new was that this was not my aunties house. I stumbled around in the hall way trying to find the right door that would lead me to the bathroom, when if found it I look straight in the mirror, I was not that bad make-up a little smudged and hair a bite messy but nothing I couldn't fix. After sorting out my mess of hair and make-up , I splashed myself with the cold water left from removing my make-up. It was nice to have something cold on my head I helped to seetl the thudding inside it. I came out into the room id started in realizing it was doubled up with the kitchen and that it was all very airy and light in colour. The bathroom and bedroom I presumed where the only rooms those lead of the small hall. I was shocked to find that someone stood in the kitchen and a small bag that I recognised was laying on what I could only make out to be the kitchen table, although it only had to chairs. The same glorious boy who had been on the train turned around when I entered the room and caught my gaze and knew that I was staring at the bag that I recognised because it was mine.

"Your aunt brought some cloths round last night when you came back to mine for some coffee and fell asleep" he seamed to be trying to tell me that this was the story for why I had hat to come back to his flat last night. I just nodded not sure if my voice was horse after being dehydrated.

"Here drink this it will help with the headache, and your cloths and stuff are in the bag so you can get ready, I left you a towel in the bathroom so you could have a shower"

"Thank you" that was all I could manage because my voice was horse. I drank the water that was in a pint glass, I seamed to be thirstier than I thought. I grabbed the bag off the table and headed for the bathroom. There was a towel on the radiator, I was glad he'd put it there because it seamed unseasonably cold in this tiny bathroom, I slammed the small window shut to stop the great breeze that flowed through it. I hoped into the shower and let the hot water cures my skin and heat my muscles. I dried and dressed in a hurry not sure what I was wearing just to keep the heat of the shower in my skin. As I walked slowly to the kitchen I could smell toast, and sure enough when I came into the kitchen the was toast on a plate with just butter on it the best way for toast to be. He shoved the plate in my direction.

"I don't won't your aunt accusing me of not looking after you properly" he laughed to himself and I ate the toast again surprising myself at how hungry I was. He stared at me the whole time I was eating it made me self conscious. When I finished I headed to the sink and started to wash the plate I wasn't sure why I felt so comfortable in his presence or why I felt ok in his flat. I realized that his family must be some were.

"Were the rest of your family?" I asked really worried that they had all seen me in the state. I hated to think what I might have said.

"I don't live with them I live here with my brother, the one you met last night do you remember? And his girlfriend" I sighed in relief

"Yeah I remember, so I suppose I should get of to collage" I turned and grabbed my bag before his arm touched mine again was cold even though it was so warm in here. He quickly removed it from my arm before he spoke.

"Its too late for collage now, you can stay here if you wont or I could take you home?" he was really letting me decide but I didn't know if I wonted to go home right now. I still had no idea what I was to aspect, but I was sure that my cousin would not wont he spending more time with his friend he would have found out by now that I had stayed the night. Just as I was thinking about him the phone rang and Corban answered the phone pronouncing his name very clearly so that I knew it was him. After he hung up he headed towards the kitchen with an expression I couldn't understand he look frustrated but pleased at the same time I wonder what Ben must have said.

"That was Ben he's coming round in about 5 mins he's going 2 take you back when he goes he's just finished collage and will take you back for tea." I didn't understand why he still look frustrated he surely was glad that I was leaving.

"Oh…What's the time?" I wondered out load.

"three thirty youve been out most of the day but we didn't get back till 2 so I do understand"

"thanks by the way, for looking after me last night. You could have left me alone on the streets or taken me home"

"I wouldn't have left you on the streets and you would have been in a lot of trouble if I had taken you back home, your lucky that your aunt believed that you had fallen asleep from exorstion" he didn't seam to be bother that Id stayed the night so I wondered why he had been so angry a minute ago. We both went an sat on the sofa that just like the walls was a soft cream colour. He pulled a remote from under the pillow were my head had been and switched the telly on putting a strange music channel that I had not hear before. The heavy rock screeching from the telly was interrupted by a buzzing sound coming from behind my head. Corban reached for the phone and pushed a button letting Ben I presumed in. a few minutes later the load knock on the door warned me that I should maybe stand so my cousin could sit next to his friend. Sure enough Ben strode through the door.

"Wow cous you look a bit ruff" Ben said this with a wide grin and a small smile coming across his face.

"Thanks, I guess you wouldn't know how it feels getting drunk, poor baby couldn't handle a can of beer awww" my teasing didn't seam to go down well Ben just glared at me but Corban chuckled.

"Im not fighting with you, you are after all just and alcoholic cry baby" Corban let out a low hiss, it was a freighting sound and it was aimed at Ben. I didn't know why the rude remark about my handling of the accident would offend him.

"Ben that was a horrible thing to say you should apologise!" he gave Ben a sincer look like if he didn't do as he was told Corban would hit him, this only added to the confusion I felt.

"She started it I was merely pointing out facts" although he was right I had started the teasing but he had taken it a bit to far with the last comment. Corban just looked at him.

"Sorry I shouldn't have said that" he said it in a way a small child would when they have been told by their mum that they have to say sorry for something that they weren't sorry for.

"Its ok no offences taken" they both looked at me a new I was either lying or I was very heartless, by now I was thinking that I was both. Ben and Corban started talking like I wasn't there when I didn't reply to any of the conversation joining questions and I was quiet happy about that because now I could think about the things I wonted to an not have to worry they would read what I was thinking about on my face. I started to wonder why Corban had jumped to my defences like that he didn't really know me and he didn't have to make Ben say sorry. I thought that ever since he saw me he had been overly nice and it didn't seam normal. When I final came back to earth after thinking I was being absurd that must just me the way he is to everyone I was none special, I realized that Ben and Corban had been planning to go out and get a drink later on this evening. Corban was smiling at me I realized when I had tuned into their conversation.

"So do you wont to come with us or not Lils?" that's what must have pulled me out my thinking bubble they were talking to me.

"Hmmm…what sorry"

"Do you wont to come have a drink with us" I saw that Corban asked me and Ben just stared out the window but now with my hesitating he had turned to look at me to show that he was unhappy that _his _friend had asked _me _to come out with them. I thought about it for a minute until both their faces were looking at me with anticipation. Ben was eager for a no and Corban it would seam wonted me to say yes I didn't wont to course a family dispute so early on in my stay but I didn't wont to say no to that glorious face who had helped me in my first few minutes of my journey here and hadn't stopped helping.

"I don't know I think maybe I should stay at home tonight and make sure Lauran doesn't think I have a drinking problem" which was true I didn't wont her to think that but that was a little reason not to go compared to the reason that I didn't wont to upset my cousin who was sat so close to me. Ben was reading Corban's dejected face at my sutal let down and let out a large sigh.

"Just come out Lils we both know that your only saying no to not upset me but hay it might be fun I can show you how much more than you I can drink" Ben seamed to mean what he was saying I though that he must like his friend a lot more than he disliked me.

"I don't think it wise for her to be drinking large amounts after yesterday, and Ben to be honest after what I saw yesterday I can already tell the results of that little test…" Ben looked excited like he was sure his friend would say he could drink a lot more.

"..Ben she would drink you under the table even without trying sorry mate" Ben was the one who look upset now he had definitely been hoping his friend would have said he would have able to out drink me, but im sure that deep down he knew he couldn't.

"well see, one day when you can take a break in-between benders we can go have a competition. Ill show you that I can drink her under the table" Ben seamed to be making his point very clear but Corban was not paying attention he was staring at me his wide eyes. I would have to keep testing the water to see if it was friendliness for the reason he was always being so nice, or if my fears were true in which case I would have to stop it although he was so lovely to me and so very good looking I knew I couldn't go out with him because he was my cousins best friend and probably his only friend he had always been a loner loser. I decided that it was not my fault if he did like me like that I would just have to make sure Ben never found out. We had to leave then after Ben and Corban had made all the arrangements for tonight. We were all meeting at Bens at seven and we would go to the Lion and I was the only one who didn't seam to get excited by this, im sure I would find out why those two got so excited tonight. When we got in the car Ben turned down the rock music that was coming out the speakers at least I could se he had good taste in music.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben never went very fast when he was coming out the street it wasn't until then that I realized he wasn't heading home. I wasn't sure were he was going or why he had that look on his face.

"Hey Ben where are we going?" he dint reply at first he just carried on staring out the window.

"Are you ignoring me because im coming out with you later.. I don't have to come if its going to upset you so much. Hey stop ignoring me and grow up and answer my question!"

"It's not because you're going with us later, in-fact that doesn't bother me at all."

"then what is it?" I didn't understand it had to have something to do with me and Corban I was sure of it because he was in a perfectly good mood when he came in.

"Its just I've seen that look in his eyes before and I don't like the out come.. I don't wont you to get to close to him ok" I couldn't answer I didn't understand what he was going on about it made no sense to me.

"HEY Lilly are you listening to me. Look stay away from him as much as you can ok, don't purposely put yourself in his company"

"What are you going on about Ben? What look? I don't understand" I was confused and he wasn't making anything clear enough to help me understand.

"I know that you saw the way he was looking at you even when he was supposed to be talking to me, I know you know what he was thinking when he was looking at you like that. You may not be my favourite person right now but I wouldn't wish what could happen on you." He was serious what ever he was going on about.

"Just do as I say please"

"Ok I will happy, but you still haven't told me were we are going" he had made me angry I wasn't bother about Corban or by the fact the he just said he didn't like me I was mad because he wouldn't tell me what he was going on about. The train station came into view I thought for a minute that that was were we were going. But the he turned off left and headed down a very long straight road.

"Ben I mean it tell me were we are going or I will jump out the car door right now!" he didn't answer me he just put the automatic lock on the door so that there was no way of escaping.

"Look Ben you're kinda scaring me please tell me were we're going _please_." My pleading didn't seam to have worked he just ignored me. That's when I started to cry, when I got so angry or mad like if I couldn't find my keys anywhere and I was in a rush I would cry in angry I hardly ever cried because I was sad now.

"Lilly why are you crying?" Ben sounded a little sad maybe that would make him tell me where we were going.

"Im crying because im angry!" he seamed to accept that but he didn't lose the bitterness my tears had brought to his face.

"TELL ME WERE WE ARE GOING" I screamed at Ben I was so angry now that I was sure I might pass out with anger.

"Just calm down will you im trying to figure out were we're going myself" what? That made no sense, he was just driving us around for no reason.

"Ben please just take us home I think Lauren will get upset. Aren't we supposed to be home by now?" Ben seamed to know what I was saying was true.

"We're going somewhere for a minute or two and then we can go home will you ring mum and tell her well be home in 10 mins" as he said this he passed me my mobile phone I didn't know he had it, had it fallen out my pocket last night at Corban's? when I told Lauran that we would be home in 10 mins she wasn't bother in-fact she sounded happy that I was out with Ben im sure she had noticed that we got on the least.

"She says don't be too late and that we are having pie for tea"

"Thank you for doing as I asked and not coursing a fussy I think I need you around to think about how im going to make this work" now he was purposely trying to confuse me I was sure of it. When I finally took in were we were going I saw the woods and a very high hill covered in trees. I thought it looked a good place to come and think, I would have to watch were we went on the way back so I could come here alone. When we stopped I jerked forward in my seat and was flung back into place by the seat belt. Ben got out the car and headed for a path that lead up the hill, I followed an watched as we kept going up and up a very steep hill. He verified my theory that it was a good place to come and think by saying that he often came here when he need to do some good clear head thinking. When we got to the top I could see why he liked coming here it was like something out of a movie. The view was all around us from the sudden loss of trees. The small town below had now been surrounded by a light glow of gold, pink and red of the sunset. And there was small scattered bits of light from the houses made me sure that we should be home by now but I didn't and couldn't feel the need to get going. After what seem like a very long time although I was sure this place was never affected by time at all, Ben turned and started to walk back thought the forest ridden hills trees.

"Are we going home now?" I had to make sure or I was going to go crazy.

"Well im taking you home yes" I didn't know what he meant but at least he was taking me back and I could relax.

"Im going to take you back, you have to tell mum that ill be at Corban's and that ill b back at seven to pick you up to take you out ok" he wasn't giving me a choice he was telling me what was happening. What ever the reason for out visit here he had decided what he needed to and was going to sort it out now. He drove faster this time more aggressive and with more power and frustration. Lauran was looking out the curtains when we pulled up outside the house she shot Ben a meaningful look and he nodded and sighed. The house was warm I hadn't realized how cold it was outside until I was in the nice warm house. Sam and Meganne where watching telly but didn't seam to really be focusing on it I wondered what they were not watching it seamed to had a lot of gun noises. To my surprise it was a film.

"Hey Lilly how was your first night out here then?" Meganne seamed to have grown up a lot since I last saw here, she was taller and her brown her was less spiral curls and more lose ringlets now, I realized just then that she was very attractive to be my relative.

"Fine thank you, I met some nice people and Corban seams to be very nice" it didn't like using the word nice to describe things but I couldn't think of a word strong enough to sum up this charming boy. Sam the eldest boy then turned to face me.

"You seam to have caused Ben some problems with Corban, Bens sure that he likes you and none knows why that's such a crime but Bens certain that he cant let Corban keep liking you weird kid" Sam went back to watching the telly, so that's what Ben had been thinking about up on the hill how do stop Corban liking me, well tonight didn't seam to be a very good idea anymore. After dinner I went to have a shower and put on my pyjamas. I was sat straitening my hair like I always did when I head the front door slam shut. Ben was in my door way before I hadn't even got up off the seat.

"Stay away from him ok I mean it don't even talk to him ok" I ran to the door Ben had a very dark red circle around his eye.

"Ben did he hit you?" it didn't make sense that they would fight over me it had to be about something else.

"Lilly are you listening to me don't you dare go any where near him ok!" he said this through gritted teeth all I could do was nod.

"Good now do you still wont to go for a drink with me, I think I need one" I was glad that his mood had lightened but I wonted to know why Corban had hit him.

"Yeah sounds good to me, give me 5 minutes and ill be right with you" I got dressed in a hurry and put my hair in a messy ponytail. The pub that Corban and I had gone to last nigh had the same atmosphere as yesterday when we went in. Ben had invited Sam along with us to have a drink and Meganne although to young to drink she was only sixteen came with us to play pool, she had challenged all of us telling us about her new awesome pool skills. After our second pint Ben stiffened as the door of the pub closed loudly. Sam and Meganne joined Ben in gawking at who ever had walked in through the door. I turned just to be as shocked at who was as them. He started to walk over in our direction. I didn't understand why he was here, I hoped he'd come to apologise. He reached us by the pool table in a few long strides with a cheeky smile on his face.

"Hello, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone" he was staring at me and I began to rise without even thinking about it, it was like some strange spell that he was controlling my body. Ben grabbed my hand and started to pull me back.

"Sorry Corban but I thought I made myself very clear earlier, if you would like to talk to her you cant talk to me and I will pass on the message" I wondered why Ben was being so protective. It was like I was his little sister or something.

"Its ok Ben I wont take her for long she'll come back" it wasn't that he was saying that I would be back in a time like most people would say he was just saying that I would come back I wondered what he meant? As we walked out side as it was so cold it was like artic air rushing around me.

"Look its not my choice to ignore you ok, so please don't think it's my fault. I am saying to you alone because I know that you're able to keep things to yourself, I know if Ben found out that I was telling you this he would probly come and hit me again, I would also like to say that that I didn't hit first he hit me and I just reacted I do regret doing it… but that's not the point the point is that I like you I like you a lot and there is no immediately easy answer to give you for what that has to do with me staying away from you" he seamed to be having trouble with what he was saying and if I was being honest I didn't really understand.

"What's it to Ben who I see" I was angry at Ben for making a decision that should be mine for me.

"Its not _who_ you see its _what _you see" now I really didn't know what he was saying to me and what did he mean by _what_ I saw?

"I don't understand what do you mean by _what_ I see?" he seamed to be regretting saying that, it was evident by the look on his face.

"Look Lilly its better for you to just stay away from me ok, as long as I feel like this anyway.. I have to go Ben will be coming to get you and _please, __**please**_ could you not tell him what I've just said, tell him I was wishing you luck at school or something like that, please" and those were the last words I was sure I was ever going to hear his perfect voice say to me again, and it had left me confused and wonting to do something to understand I knew it was wrong but I had to do it. It was very wrong and I was sure I would be kicked right out after I did it but I had to try, I had to do something to stop that pain that had invaded his face when he was telling me that he couldn't see me.


	5. Chapter 5

Meganne was told by Sam to take me home he was going to stay with Ben to make sure that he didn't do anything silly. I now was really curious about what was wrong with Ben and why he didn't wont me to see Corban. When I was alone with Meganne I had time to question her for what she knew, she had no way to escape me because we had to walk back.

"Meganne I know that you know something please just tell me why I cant be near Corban let alone see him" my voice had turned angry before I had finished.

"All I know is that he feels the same way about you as his last girlfriend and…" she trailed off I knew that this was obviously something they weren't allowed to talk about, but she knew something and I wonted to know to.

"What happened to his last girlfriend?"

"Im not allowed to tell you, but from what I know and the theories I have about that you should be gratefully that we're keeping you away" she seamed to be convincing herself more than me that it was best for me.

"Meganne just tell me" she just shock her head

"Please… please Meganne ill do anything! Just ell me" I was so desperate I would do anything to find out why I was not allowed to know anything out the glorious boy.

"If Ben finds out im sure _he_ would be the one to kill me" I had not missed the fact the shed emphasized that fact that it was Ben she was talking about now.

"But I think it is about you so you should know" I nodded in encouragement letting her know that I was listening and not to wont to interrupt her so that she wouldn't stop what she was going to tell me.

"You see Corban's last girlfriend was in a terrible accident…" she looked at me to make sure that I was not upset by the fact that she was talking about an accident.

"She was raped and killed. The strange thing about it is that when they found her body she was completely drained of blood, it was very odd and that why from the stories that I've heard about him you should be glad that we're stopping that happening to you." Meganne now seamed to be sure that she was not happy she was alone with me on a dark night on an empty street, but I still had to ask.

"Meganne what are the stories?" she sized me for a minute to make sure that I wouldn't be scared, but all I could assume was that what she had found was a blank face as I always had now, when ever conversations took a uneasy turn.

"The stories say that Corban's family are not human, that they are from a very old group of people that first started the town after a large group of people left London, in the great fire of. The story says that when they came there were only a few people her, people with strange eyes. The stories say that these people were also not human like Corban's family. They say that the people that were her were the ones that turned them. That they were making an army to take over Whales first, seeing as it was so close. You see the stories say that the people that were here before they came, they were blood drinkers" she stopped what she was saying for another look at my face and again it would let nothing past it, no emotion was ever going to come to my face I was sure.

"So your saying Corban and his family… they are also blood drinkers?" I knew what the answer was by the look in her eyes, the look that told me I should be scared because that's what Ben was trying to make sure I was not hurt by him, and that what happened to his last girlfriend would not happen to me. We were nearly at home by now, the house looked like a black hole. All the windows were filled with solid black, the curtains were closed and no lights were on. As we went up the drive in the house and into the front room Meganne offered me a cup of tea and I agreed I was tiered and knew that the tea would help me sleep maybe tommore would bring a new light on all the things that had happened and I could piece it all together, but I wasn't hopeful. After I drank the tea I went for a shower to loosen up and relax before bed. The water was hot and steamy, it was so needed to clam my muscles and clear my head. The water did its job and I was now ready for bed. Walking into my room I couldn't help but get feeling like I was being watched at first I thought it might just be because I was feeling like Ben was watching me all the time now after the whole Corban thing which I didn't really understand myself. The feeling increased as I got into bed like the person who was watching me was now in my room and in the darkness I couldn't see them. Just as I was about to turn the light on to stop from scaring myself I heard a creak in the exposed floorboards, what was it? I felt a sudden rush of fear and happiness, the happiness was explained by the fact I was hoping maybe who ever was in my room obviously not Ben, had come to kill me and all this bad stuff that I seamed to be coursing would stop. The noise was getting loader and it sounded like it was near my bed and I didn't know if I should hide under my duvet or face the person. I decide to go with staring the killer in the eyes so I would know who it was before I died. As the person got closer and closer I could start to make out features. And that shocked me, I was looking for a broad man, with horrid hair and this was what I was faced with, I didn't understand why he was hear. Why was Corban in my room?

"you don't seam scared" it wasn't a question it was a statement. "I could have been a killer or a rapist"

"Well if I told you I was ready to die then would you understand the look on my face" my betraying and always black expressional face.

"I knew you'd be one of those that would go easily" I just stared and didn't understand what he was going on about… and then it clicked he was going to kill me this was the end and I was now scared that I hadn't got to say goodbye!

"Oh Lilly please don't be scared I was only joking" and he was sat on the bed with me holding me in a strong embrace. What was he doing?

"W-what you're not going to kill me?" I was puzzled now I didn't understand im sure the look in his eye a minute ago told me he was going to kill me.

"I could never ever do that to you, I couldn't even bring myself to hurt you" I didn't understand his words it sounded like something a boyfriend would say to a girlfriend it seamed odd he would say it to me. But he kept me in his arms holding me like I was going to disappear. I turned my head and his face was very close to mine that if I moved we would kiss.

"Hey now you know Ben must be home by now"

"oh why is me being this close bothering you I would not be surprised after what Meganne told you" he said the last part through his teeth and with a hiss.

"No its not after what Meganne told me" I also said through my teeth "its that your to close for a friend" he sighed and pulled away. I didn't understand the look on his face he looked hurt and angry like I was missing something obvious. An with a small amount of surprise I knew what he meant I knew there was nothing I could do about it I didn't feel that way about him, I didn't even no him that well.

"Corban I don't know what to say… I suppose all I can say is lets see how things go?" he knew what I meant and that wounded look came into his face again. What was I going to do I could not keep hurting him but I really didn't know enough about him and he was a blood drinker and last I checked I still had blood in my body and that had to be a reason for us to not be together.

"Corban" I said placing my hand on his face " With what you are its not safe you have to know that" after I said this he sighed heavily "Or was that your intensions"

He was angry again.

"I told you I cant hurt you, I couldn't live with myself if I did, you don't seam to understand" he was getting angrier "Lilly please listen to me and understand me" all I could do was nod he was almost shouting about now " I love you… I love you with all my heart and I always will not matter what!" I was so confused and lost in his words, did he mean it? That he loved me ? I couldn't make sense of what he was saying. And I defiantly couldn't make sense of what I was now doing, I moved my head up so it was level with his and turned my head so our noses wouldn't hit right into each other, I puckered my lips and he did the same leaning in. At the moment our lips meet there was a fireworks going off, an explosion in my mouth and in my head, maybe I did like him after all. Our lips started to move together pushing each others lips apart. My tongue went in through the little gap in his lips and then his touched mine and it was like there was no world, no things, no other life other than us. He started to push me down on to the bed bending my back with his hand on my back making me arch and fall. My head was on one set of pillows on the double bed. His hands were all over my body and my face while my hands did the same to him. Without warning the door flew open.

"Get your hands off her!" Ben screamed and scared me. He ran towards the bed so I moved in front of Corban before Ben's hands collided with his face, so they collided with mine instead. I fell back on the bed and Corban was on his feet now about to hit Ben I moved as fast as I could before he hit Ben and got hit again but by Corban this time.

"Lilly!" they both screamed this time at least I could be their common weakness. I was on my knees about to fall to my feet but Corban caught me and pulled me up and into his arms.

"Are you happy now she's hurt" Ben said right in Corban's face

"How could you think that after I told you I love her, I could never do that to her" I didn't wont to get in-between these two friends anymore, I would come back for the rest of my stuff when they were both gone. I started to move but Corban hand his arms so tight around me I really had to struggle to get out of his iron grip on me. I marched to get my back pack and started to pack some cloths and the essentials.

"Lilly what are you doing?" both Ben and Corban asked almost at the same time as I put the last of the must haves in my bag.

"Im leaving, all I seam to do is make trouble were I go and im not coming between you to. Ill go in my car I have enough money to get quiet an way away, ill ring tomoore to tell aunt were I am. Im sorry if I have made to much has for you both" and then I walked out the bedroom door leaving them both gob smacked and staring after me.

When I reached the car I could hear them running down the stairs after me, I had left the door open and I could hear the thud, thud of feet on the stairs. I know they were going to try and stop me but I wasn't going to let them. As I unlocked the door Corban seamed to be letting himself in the car.

"Look get out the car because I cant wait for him to come and stop me ok! So just get out please" he didn't seam to be moving and Ben was getting closer to the car, I had no choice Corban would have to be dropped off as soon as I was out of site of the house and could stop till he was out. The car roared to life like it couldn't wait to be back out on the road, and I would have to agree with the car this time getting away would be best. We speed down the street before I had time to so anything else I just had to get out of this road and fast so I could kick Corban out the car. As we came to a corner of a road that I was sure Ben would not think I would go up I stop the car and turned to Corban.

"OUT NOW!" I had to shout so he would understand I meant it, he was staying and I was leaving.

"Look Lilly, you can go any where you wont but im coming with you. Look maybe we could go back to mine and have a cup of tea and talk this over I don't wont you making a rash decision just because me and Ben are having a few problems with me and you seeing each other" having tea with him seamed so inviting but I had to think that I just wonted a chance to get to know him and it was nothing more.

"Look you can go to collage tommore and go to your art lessons and maybe you will change you mind that you wont to leave. Lets just talk ok" I didn't know how he knew I was taking art but I wasn't sure I wonted to leave so soon after arriving and not even trying to go to collage. So I started the car and just looked at him so he knew I was not going to ask the way he was just going to tell me. And he did.

When we reached his flat I knew he was going to be able to make me stay the night so I just grabbed my bag and he smiled knowing I had accepted that these were his plans.


	6. Chapter 6

He talked to me the second I walked it to the door, he was begging me not to go and that he would make me breakfast in bed and t I could go to art and have time to think about staying. He told me I was as welcome to stay as long as I wonted. After getting into the p.j.s I had stuffed in my bag off the bed I headed to the sofa where he had made me the bed that came out of it with a nice fluffy duvet and four pillows. After I lay down Corban walked off in the direction of his room. At that moment I felt so alone cold and scared off the dark. I knew it was because once again I had left people who loved me and cared like family, because they were family I felt so scared and alone that I couldn't sleep by myself, I couldn't be by myself, I had to be with someone who cared and wonted me safe. So I creped down the hall to were the door for Corban's room was and opened the door ever so slowly to make any noise at all. He was awake and staring at the ceiling like he reading something on it, he was concentrated so hard. As I walked in he turned his head and stared at me.

"I got scared and I didn't wont to be alone" all he did was open his arms as I sprung into them and fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke I was still in his arms but he was awake and staring at me and I didn't know if I had mad the wrong move in coming in here last night.

"Morning sleepy, the alarm must have woken you up its time to get ready for collage" I couldn't help but moan. He smiled.

"We have to go I wont you to get to your lesson that you would have started today, after looking round yesterday ha-ha" I knew he was laughing because I was just like yesterday in bed when I should be getting ready for collage. I stumbled out of bed and he held my hand. I didn't know if he thought my gesture last night had been through my liking of him, maybe that was the reason for me coming in? had I really felt that lonely? And now I knew the reason I had really stayed in here last night and it was not fear.

"Hey I said I would make you breakfast in bed and I am going to do just that now stay" as he said this he walked towards the door leaving my hand limp and hanging on the bed. He walked down the hallway and I followed like a lost lamb.

"Hey I told you to stay in bed now…" he stopped short because I grabbed his hand and twisted my fingers in-between his. He look at me and then are linked hands. And he smiled, but knew that this was as far as he was going to get now at least. I had to follow him round the kitchen telling him I didn't won't anything maybe so toast at the most. After I had eaten the food he insisted I eat I got shower and dressed, he let me dress in his room. We headed down the stairs and out the front door.

"Now we're going to go to collage ok I have to go I cant have two days off and you need to get settled." And I knew he was right.

After we had lumber down road and to the collage we made our way into the office so I could fill so sheets about my details and all the personal stuff. I was taking A level art, biology, chemistry and Media studies. I didn't have collage every day and I didn't have to go to all four on every day I was in. I thought I was very lucky and I was informed by Corban on the way to my art room that I was indeed lucky to have Friday as my free day and it was also his. When we reached the art room Corban didn't look happy to be leaving me.

"Will I see you for lunch? Or do you have plans with someone else?" he didn't seam mad id asked he seamed mad by something in my class room I was about to turn around and see what it was when he caught my face between his hands.

"I will see you at one yes?" all I did was nod and he stormed off in the other direction. I didn't know what had ticked him off so much but I went through the door and was taken by the large amount of colour. The smell of acrylic paint, paper, glue and tissue paper was so strong this room could be nothing else but an art room. I saw that the teacher was a youngish man with a little tuff for a beard and the room was filled with students getting sketch pads and pencils out of their bags, I was now really glad I had brought one with me in my car just in-case I got board when driving along any were. All the students were dressed in a way you expect art students to dress, either in a lot of black with colourful accessories or with outrages cloths and wired things about their out fit. On the far side of the class was the only free space, all the tables were in double tables with two chairs at each. The tables were in three rows. At the table with the only free space was a lovely boy, he had lushes features with green sparkly eyes and blonde hair which he wore to one side sweeping his face. He wore all black and a colourful belt. As I walked to the front I thought he must be a blood drinker like Corban, because he was the only one who had the same league of beauty as Corban, but he was not as pale. After the teacher, who informed me was called Mr Raxberry, sent me to the only free space by this outstandingly grouses boy. As I sat I couldn't help but catch the watchful eyes of the other females in my class stare at me like I was so, so lucky. As I took out the sketch pad I had, thank god I saw this beautiful boy look at me through his curtain of beach blonde hair, I retrieved my pencil case from the bottom of my bag and waited for the lesson to start, Mr Raxberry told us we still had another five minutes so we could talk. One of the girls who had given me a "you lucky cow" look, started to walk over, she was taller than me probably about 5.8/5.9 with long blonde swayie hair with pieces of blue and pink init. She started to retreat back to her seat and at first I thought it was my staring but I soon realised that the boy beside me was staring in her direction with a look that was not friendly. He then turned to me with all the unfriendliness wiped clean off his face.

"Hey I'm Alex its nice to meet you" and he stuck out his hand for me to shack, which I did.

"Hi I'm Lilly, its nice to meet you" my voice sounded like a little girl who was talking to an adult that she didn't know.

"Oh yeah I've heard about you"

"Only good I hope" he started to laugh I was hoping this was a good sign.

"Well some good some bad" he was sill laughing "Don't look so worried I was joking the only bad I've heard is that you are unfortunately related to Ben Fox, and the good is that you like to live it up at the pub." I was thinking that would have been the bad "Maybe we could go for a drink at lunch?"

"Yeah sure that sounds nice" Then Mr Raxberry called the class to order and we started to hear about artiest that I had loved copying drawings and this I was sure was going to be my favourite call out of them all.

My art call was for two hours and started at eleven on Tuesdays, so the lesson ended just before lunch. Alex and me talked about the lesson and who we preferred out of Dali and Van Gogh. He liked Van Gogh but I had always love Dali, so it was a good conversation on the way to the pub. When we got there he got us both a pint of Guinness and a bag of cheese and onion chirps, he got them because they were my favourite. We talked and talked about all the things we liked and disliked, when his face turner sad and his beautiful features look more normal this I thought to myself was also a good sign, it meant he wasn't the same as Corban he was normal. I turned my head to face the direction he was facing when my eyes caught her. Meganne, my cousin the one who was the youngest out of them all and only a year younger than me walking towards us not looking happy, in-fact she looked so angry I was sure she was about to explode.

"You slut your supposed to be my cousin, not a boyfriend stealer!" my stomach had fallen right down to my feet and I couldn't feel a thing I was right to want to go.

"Don't look so innocent I told you I was going out with him, when we were talking the other night" I couldn't remember all I remember about that conversation was her telling me that Corban was blood drinker. I wish I could remember what she had said, apparently she had told me she was going out with this older boy. He look so unhappy and I felt so mad at him, no I felt mad at myself I had been lead on and I was angry because I had fallen for it and had started to like him, this just goes to show that nothing good comes of letting you guard down.

"Lilly stop ignoring me and speak!"

"Meganne stop shouting at her its not her fault I hadn't even told her my last name how was she to no?" and now I was grateful for him being there, he was right how was I to know?

"What?" she was stunned I think she was expecting me to be the bad guy here not her lovely boyfriend; it had obviously just sunk into her head that he had not been honest with we and just before she had stormed in he had been flirting.

"What Alex why didn't you tell her who you were? What we were?" she was about to cry as she realised she was to young for this boy, she had know that all along.

"Meganne what are you going on about? I told you we wernt exclusive your to young for me" what? They wernt going out really and she was telling people they were. Why wasn't he going as mad as he should be?

"Well…I thought…." She was stuck for words she knew she was the one in the wrong now.

"You thought what that we were dating? Me a collage student of seventeen and you a fifteen year old" his voice was not apologetic. "Meganne look sit down" she sat. " You're a lovely girl and had you been a year or two older I have not doubt that we would have gone out, please don't feel bad, I wish you were, but your not and that is a big issue please don't be mad, especial at Lilly" my name brought me back to were we where and away from thinking that he must know she wont believe him.

"So we can still be friends and still have lunch on Fridays?" Meganne seamed to except what he was saying she did know that they weren't going out and had know that he was to old for her.

"Sure we can" this pleased her "Lilly can join us to now" that didn't, she had been planning to make him forget that he was older and make him her boyfriend.

"Yeah that sounds great" Meganne didn't sound that pleased but not as unpleased as I would have thought. Then something came into my head and I checked my watch it was one thirty and I was sure I was meant to be somewhere else, and then I knew and I got up as quickly as I could and headed for the door.

"Lilly were are you going" Alex called after me grabbing his coat and following me. The door swung open and the person coming through walked straight into me. As I looked up I was glad and sad at the same time I realized who it was.

It was Corban. And I was supposed to have meet him thirty minutes ago.

"Hello Lilly sorry im late someone told me they saw you head over here" he started to laugh "I guess I should have guessed that you would have come to the pub" and he was still laughing although I didn't like that he was laughing at the fact I was in the pub and he knew that I would have been here I was glad he hadn't seen Alex. By then Alex had reached us an came up right behind me, he reached for one of my hands and twisted his fingers in it, I didn't know what he was doing he didn't really know me that well, but he had done it non the less and I was surprised at how nice it felt to have his fingers there.

"Your not supposed to be near her" Alex said this through his teeth with a look that could kill on his face. Corban was not happy at his words either. How did Alex know?

"I see Ben has his minions working to make sure she's safe" Alex was Bens friend? Was that why he had brought me here, was to stop me being with Corban? I loosened my hand from his and started to turn to look at him.

"Is this why you brought me here was to stop me being with him?" I hated thinking this was the reason he had brought me here, I didn't realise how much I really did like him already, this was not good I was putting to many roots down I had to leave. I stormed through the door and Alex caught my hand.

"Lilly please listen" I just paused, this was all he was getting out of me right now and he knew it.

"No it's not why I brought you out. You must know I wonted to get to know you more, I wanted to get to know the girl that had made that thing fall in love all over again" so it was the reason, he didn't want me he wanted that things girl. I tugged my hand again, it was hopeless. I started to cry.

"Oh my god are you crying Lilly look you're a lovely girl I didn't do it for Ben I did it for me, so I could get to know you"

"Yeah as the girl that had made that thing fall in love again" I wasn't sobbing I didn't do that any more but I did had little tears rolling down my face.

"maybe at first…"

"yeah so that was the reason"

"But know im glad I did, I like everything about you and I think im falling for you" I didn't believe that for one minute "Lilly look at me" I had no choice he had both his hands on my face, so I turned and looked he was so close, like he was about to kiss me. He searched for a minute and then pulled my face up to meet his lips and we kissed. It was like kissing Corban, their was fireworks and I couldn't help but put my hands round th back of his neck and pull him closer. He started to pull away and I tripped a little at how close I had got and how much I was leaning on him. I couldn't understand way he was pulling away. And then I caught sight of Corban's hands round Alex's shoulders I didn't have long or Corban would hit him.

"Corban no!" it was to late Corban had drawn back his hand and went to punch Alex in the face, but Alex dodged it. I couldn't believe that Corban had punched him for kissing me. I was stunned.

"Corban what the hell do you think your doing" Meganne had her hands on his arms and was trying to restrain him.

"Well Corban are you going to answer her question or are you going to throw more punches, if hitting me while trying to get Ben wasn't enough, you lucky im solid and don't bruise easy" Corban loosened his arms and Meganne dropped hers from on his and Alex just look at me horrified.

"You hit her?" Alex was more than horrified he was disgusted.

"Now look we're not talking about this it was an accident and were leaving. I grabbed Alex's arm and walked back towards the collage.

"Lilly he hit you" he was not going to drop it this was the sixth time he'd asked on the way to the car park.

"I told you Alex it was accident he didn't mean to do it, I got in the way now get in im taking you back to were to live" I didn't say home or house because he may not live in either he may live in a little flat like Corban. He was quiet while he got in the car and while we turned out onto the road, in-fact he was quiet other than telling me the directions to were he lived. It was just like Corban's but in a nicer area and a bigger block of flats.

"Please come in for a cup of tea" I didn't know if a cup of tea was what I wonted. But like the polite girl I had been brought up to be I followed anyway.

When we got to his flat which was on the ground floor of the building, I was quite literally out of breath from the shock that his flat had brought with it. I was expecting something like Corban's flat white cream and clean. But no this was definitely different. There was a coffee table, I think that's what it was covered in ash and had a small ash tray in the middle with cigarette ends and surrounded in cans and bottles of beer. The flat smelt of steal beer and smoke. The room was dark and had no light, the curtains were black and thick letting no light in and he didn't turn a light on when we came in, so it was very dark. The walls were a dark blue and one had a piece of lighter blue cloth on it with a cross on it. All in all it was different to the light and airy flat of Corban's. Alex turned a small table lamp on that was the only light in the room, when suddenly I noticed something I hadn't before, it glinted in the limited light, he had a hope through his lower lip on the left side. I had to ask to make sure that I wasn't going completely mad.

"Alex did u have that lip ring this morning?" I felt so sill asking he must have and I had taken no notice, even when he kissed me.

"No I took it out to see it would annoy me more out than in"

"And did it?"

"No, It really did annoy me more out!" I had to giggle he really did look very cute with his lip ring in, it made him look littler if that could work. He really did look very, very good looking, with his blonde hair, blue eyes and now his lips ring. His cloths enhanced his muscle and made them more defined.

Alex made me a cup of tea and we drank silently as we watched a bit of telly and talked about maybe going to get some chips and I said I would have to go back to my aunties and tell her were I was and what I was going to do. I got a bit of ribbing for this, like I was little girl who needed permission, but I didn't mind I really did need to let my aunt no that I was ok and today's fights. I couldn't believe there had been two fights today and they had both been because of me. Why couldn't trouble leave me alone for a few hours? After a few hours of watching telly Alex grabbed my hand and we sat like that for a while until I thought I should say something or do something before he got the wrong idea, although I love the idea of him getting the wrong idea with me, I wasn't sure if I could deal with things going wrong in my live right now. Then I thought why do I have to be so negative? Why does it have to end? And then I thought because everything ends and it never ends happy. As I started to slide he turned his head in my direction and looked at me through hurt eyes.

"Sorry did I do something wrong?" Alex sounded even more hurt than he looked and I didn't know how that could be. "Is that why Corban hit me? Because you're his girl?" That caught me of guard, I wasn't Corban's girl, I was none's girl! Im own person. "No me and Corban are juts friends, and I just think that im not really ready for something right now" he defiantly look hurt now like I had I really stabbed him or something.

"Oh Lilly look I think you would like a little fun right now, come on juts relax and enjoy what's happening to you" I wonted to believe him but then I didn't. he could hurt me more than anything in life. He could stop loving me and leave me like everyone else did. Before I had a chance to even voice what I was thinking, me kissed me, with such conviction and passion that I knew right there and then that he was the one for me and that Meganne would have to deal with it. He kissed me like he wonted to, like he didn't wont to do anything else in the world, like it was just us and the moment of togetherness should last forever and I shared his view of this. His lips moved on mine, soft and warm, moving my lips, making them part so he could slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue searched my mouth like he was looking for something and then I moved my tongue against his. We both moved are hands to round each others face, slowly he moved his hands down my back and to the small of my back, pushing his hand in he arched my back and made me fall onto the sofa. His hands pushed their way up from the small of my back up and up till he reached my bra then he slid his hands down again and pulled himself back from me so we could both breath a little. He put his hands round the bottom of his well fitted black top and pulled it over his head. Then he came back to kissing me, but with more passion and urgency. He put his hands round the bottom of my top pulling at the edges; once again we parted for a moment while he removed my top. He didn't come back to kiss me, instead he stared, stared at my body and smiled, I didn't know why and right now I didn't care I was so anxious to have his lips back on mine I didn't care what he was doing. He pulled of his trousers and wrestled with mine. I was now very grateful for not wearing old pants. Then he just got up and pulled at my hand to start to lead me towards another room. This room was his bedroom. There were cloths all over the floor and looked just like the front room but with a bed in it. He led me to the bed and pushed me down on it, while he went to his draw to pull out something I couldn't quite see. When he came back to the bed, he straddled me pushing my arms down with his hands. His hands then moved down the side of my body, past my waist and onto my back, he lifted me slightly and started up my back again. When he found my bra strap he put his fingers round the clasp. This was something that scared me, what was I doing? I didn't know this boy that well but I was going to give it up to him after a cup of tea? Was I really that easy? Was I really that stupid?

"Alex _please_" I managed to say breathless around his lips, he pulled back and stared at me. "What?" he was startled "What… what you wont me to stop?" he was not happy, maybe I was right to stop it, if sex was all he wonted maybe I should have guessed by the fact he was utterly beautiful and I wasn't.

"Look Alex I don't really know you" I had just got my breath back.

"Lilly don't do this" he was pleading with me with puppy dog eyes "Lilly you wont this as much as I do otherwise you would have stopped it sooner. Lilly I don't wont you for sex just now. I wont you know and forever. Do you understand I wont you and I wont you to be my girlfriend" this was a strange way to ask me out, but it was better than nothing I suppose. At least I could see now that he didn't just wont me for sex. He took advantage of my moments thought and started to kiss me again. The rest was quiet routine, nothing special about what he did and nothing to get all hot and bothered about telling him not to do next time. After he just turned and kissed me grabbing his boxers and heading out the door again leaving it open for me to follow which I did but back in my bra and pants. When I came out Alex headed to the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer and throw one on my direction. We sat back on the sofa and he pushed our cloths to one side. I went to grab mine but he just looked at me and told me we weren't finished. This suited me fine; if he drank and had sex and drank again this was going to be fine by me. After a few minutes we had both finished our cans, it really had not been that long, about five minutes, when he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to his body. He was warm and soft, I was cold and had bad skin. We were there for ages, him holding me and me curling up against him, when I realized that what little light there was, was fading. I turned to face Alex and gave him a quick peek on the cheek than wriggled away.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked with a little announce in his voice. #

"Alex its dark and my aunt, Ben, Meganne, Corban, my family they will all be wondering were I am or what you have done to me, or what we have be doing, they know I left with you and they know its late" he stared to smile and I dint know why, when he opened his mouth I knew I didn't wont to know what he was going to say.

"I can come with you, ill take you home then you can come back here and we can have a few drinks and order a pizza" before he had finished he had shoved my cloths in my hands and was putting his back on, he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Alex I will have to go and see Corban" his faced turned upside down then, he really didn't like that.

"Lilly I don't wont to be one of those boyfriends that tells you who you can be friends with, so please realize that he is bad news and stay away on your own" I was thrilled when he said that he was my boyfriend, but he was right he was not going to tell me who I couldn't be friends with.

"Alex im going to see him weather you like it or not OK" I walked out the door them fully dressed and headed for the door.


	7. Chapter 7

When I had got home I had told my aunty where I had been and told her I wasn't hungry, I was still not sure weather I was going to stay with Alex or maybe even Corban seen as that's were I was headed and I didn't have Alex's number yet so he wouldn't know when to pick me up or were from. I really didn't know how to tell Corban that I was going out with Alex, I really didn't know how to approach the subject, and there was no doubt that Corban would bring it up himself.

If I was ever scared of talking to someone, it was now. This was so stupid he was a friend of the family I shouldn't feel bad because he likes me and had looked after me for a while. But I knew this was going to be hard no matter what, I wasn't sure I wonted to tell him, but I knew I had to. This was so hard, harder than it should be. Why was it so hard to knock on his door and tell him what was happening? Was it because I was scared of his reaction? Was I scared if it went wrong he wouldn't wont me anymore? Was it because I wont both of them? It didn't matter because I had now managed to knock on the door and there he was smiling at me. All I could do now was blush and wait to be led in.

The air was full of a flowery smell of air freshener; this really was not like Alex's flat!

"Well how was you first day?" I didn't know if he was really trying to distract me or if he was trying to forget.

"Well very uneventful it would seam. Fights over me are becoming quite normal to me" I let the dislike for what had happened over these past few days slip into what I was saying. His eyes narrowed as he remembered what Alex had said.

"He told me I wasn't allowed near you. How he could think that I could hurt you I don't know" and he really did look upset that I might be over come with what they said about him, that I would stop thinking of him the way I did.

"Corban I have to tell you something" I realised while we were remembering what had happened and the way he felt flood us. He turned his head at me looking very curious.

"I don't thing you like it but I think you have a right to know" he was moving closer to listen and I felt scared that he would lose control of himself as I had seen him do and I would have a black eye for sure this time. "Corban…Corban…Corban me and Alex are seeing each other. I mean we are going out" he didn't look mad or angry, just sad and unhappy.

"Well im happy for you" I knew he wasn't!

"No you not Corban please don't lie to me. I know I don't deserve to know what your thinking, but please tell me! I won't to know" I begged with him.

"If I told you would you do something for me?"

"That depends what it is doesn't it?" I was not one of those people who got sucked in because I should feel guilty. And he knew that, I could tell.

"Fine please tell when what your thinking after I tell you ok?" I nodded I could do that. "Well you know I love you and I think he is really wrong for you. I wish you had chosen me, I just wont you to kiss me and tell me that you don't fell that same. And if you cant I wont you to try and not give him all yourself because you don't wont him to have all of it. I wish you could understand what I feel when I look at you" he was edgeing towards me, getting to close I thought "I wont to be in you, with you, part of you if I could be! Lilly please just see that I don't wont you to be with him" it was to late and I knew that I was not strong enough to stop him. His lips meet mine and it was as if this is how we should spend our time, together locked with out lips. I realised at that moment that I had to think about Alex as well, this was not just about me and Corban, but about me, Corban and Alex. Alex and me, Corban and me. How had my life got so screwed up? How had I fallen in love with someone I didn't know, and how had I let that person sleep with me, that was going to be my down fall when he told everyone that I had slept with him just the first time I met him. I felt so silly I'd slept with someone I didn't know and had only know for a few hours. I had kissed someone else while I was supposed to be going out with someone else, was nothing but an alcoholic whore, who went into peoples live just to ruin them. I was nothing and that would be my real down fall in life that I brought others down with me. At that point I was realised by Corban because I had started to cry.

"Lilly what's the matter" he had nothing but real concern in his eyes but I couldn't trust my self not to burst out into real hysteric sobs if I spoke. "Look if me kissing you has upset you ill take that as my answer" just as turned my head so I wouldn't have to look into his eyes and know he thought I didn't like he, I caught sight of a bottle of vodka on the side only what looked like a shot taken from the whole thing, and a small glass next to the bottle. I marched over to where it stood and drank as much as could without coughing at the burning it brought. Corban caught what I was doing realising the hurt feeling from his face to replace it with anger.

"What the fuck do you think you doing, that's not yours!" at last someone had told be of for doing something wrong, but it was to late for him the bottle was gone.

"Lilly answer my question what are you doing" he was so angry.

"Finally a reaction I can work with" he looked puzzled "You all keep showing me love, I know this world is not filled with that much, now angry, angry I can work with and understand" he looked less puzzled now but more upset that I could work with to sadness I'd experienced enough of that. "Corban im going out with Alex… well at least I think I am and I don't wont to upset him or you" I sighed why had my life got so complicated in two day that I already had to run away? I was least giving myself two weeks before I was on the run again.

"Lilly I know, I know, I understand that you don't wont to upset him and I do understand but drinking is not going to solve anything is it?" he seamed to realise something "Lilly do you blame yourself for your parents accident" how did he know about tha accident? Who told him? None had asked me that out right before and he knew the answer before I even opened my mouth to speak. His arms were round me before he spoke "Lilly that was not your fault you can't blame yourself for that!" but I could because it was my fault, if I hadn't made they come they would still be… I couldn't vring myself to think it, but it was my fault that I knew.

"Lilly please stop blaming yourself or I will tell your aunt what you were really doing on the first night you were here" he stared to chuckling. Was he really blackmailing me? How had him being mad at me brought us to my drinking? I had obviously mixed to much wine and beer this afternoon, because that vodka was kicking in far to quickly. I was feeling less and less and all I knew at that moment was how much I felt towards Corban and how he was hear for me and Alex (my boyfriend) wasn't. he was so close and smelt soooo nice. I moved my head a lent in and kissed him hard on the lips, I wrapped my arms around his neck so he couldn't pull away he was going nowhere if I had anything to do with it.

"Lilly what are you doing? You have a boyfriend!"

"Shut up Corban and kiss me" as I went to kiss him again he tried to move "Just kiss me!" and he did and he did more than kiss me. He was moving his lips faster and faster against mine making enough room for him to slip is tong into my mouth, he slid it along my teeth and played with mine. His breath was coming hot and steamy into my head. He moved his hands down my back and stopped on my bum, then they slid a little lower so that he could pick me up. I griped my legs around his waist. He started to walk backwards bumping into the counters and making a lot of clatter. He was still backing away with me round his waist, my arms wrapped around hiss neck and his hands just below my bum holding my up. We back right into his room when he dropped me on the bed, he stood over me while I caught my breath and he smiled.

"Lilly I love you!" then he took his hands and peeled off his shirt to reveal an well toned and shaped six-pack, is was something a well trained and well worked out model would definitely be proud of, along with his well muscled stomach muscles wrapped round his arms. As he came back down to kiss me I was ready for him and we kiss with such passion it could be mistaken for a film kiss that is so dramatic its unreal. I rolled him over and kneeled up over him I yanked my top off for him to see him smiling at me once it was off. I leant down to kiss him and he put his hands round my back and worked slowly up still kissing me, he reached the clasp of my bra and in one swift motion he had undone it. Then he rolled my over and got off me, I thought he ws going walk away laughing but he pulled off his trousers and then knelt over me. Slowly but sweetly he kissed all the way down my body until he reached my jeans, he slid his hand down with the zip and pulled them off me. Then it was off with the pants that matched my bra, they were both black lace. He took off his boxers, I took one look at him before I spoke "Corban umm… we cant do this" now he did look sad he hadn't let my finish "You don't wont me pregnant do you" to my disbelieve he laughed, but reached over to his drew non the less and pulled out the first thing he came too. Now he was sorted and we were both ready for this. Slowly he slid into me and kissed me at the same time, he pulled back out again this was not a retain like it had been with Alex he was taking time and being careful with me. When he came back in he went deeper and was getting deeper every time, he was getting faster and I could feel myself start to breathe faster, I could feel his hot sweaty body touch mine as he came in me, I was moaning and breathing so fast it could has been embarrassing. As he came down again and again I could feel his breath faster as well, his hot breath hitting my skin. When he started to slow I could feel something warm and hot in me, and then a rush of pleaser cursed through my veins, Alex didn't make me cum. As Corban slipped out for the last time he turned over onto the other side of me, he turned and kissed me, and I blushed. Corban held me in his arms.

"I didn't wont our first time together to be after you had started drinking but ill take what I can get!" he chuckled. I knew what he meant but I didn't regret any of it, what was I going to do I loved them both? I didn't have to think about it now not while I was here with him. I got out of bed and put on my bra and pants, that's all I'd need none else would see me.

"What are you doing?" he didn't hide the sadness in his voice very well. I laughed

"Going to make us a cup of coffee so we have enough energy to do that again" now he was smiling as I walked out the room.

As I was making the coffee, pouring hot water in the cups, I could hear foot steps but I thought nothing of it, there was one flat opposite. But then the door swung open, Oh My God, what was I going to do, here I was stood in my black lacy bra and pants and stood in the door way was Sebastian (Corban's older brother) and another boy I didn't know, he had blonde hair and brown eyes that I could star into forever they were that deep. They both stared at me as much as I stared at them.

"Hello Lilly isn't it?" I blushed I was so embarrassed, I didn't have a bad figure, quite the opposite but I still wasn't one to be seen by people I didn't know in my bra and pants, kinky bra and pants at that. All I did was nod.

"Well Lilly this is my other brother Ayden" he smiled at me, they both did.

"Nice to meet you Ayden" I turned round and carried on with what I was doing "Would you like a cup of coffee or anything else" I had to be brave and not show that I was scared they would laugh at me. They had both made their way to the sofa after Sebastian had gone to a room off the hall to unload his stuff.

"Yes please" was all they said "Coffee black" so I made them a coffee too. Corban came down the hall in just his boxers to meet me, once he caught hold of the other people in the room he glanced at me an blushed I returned that blush.

"Hey bros what you doing here" he looked at me apologetically, walked past him and went and gave his brothers their coffee, black. I walked back to the kitchen area got my coffee and leaned against the counter facing the living room.

"Well Corban I thought living here meant I didn't have to have a reason to come back home" he looked Corban in the eyes and then shot an meaningful look at me.

"Well no I guess your right" Corban walked over to me as he said this to his older brother and held my hand just below the counter.

"Well thank you for the coffee Lilly I best be off" Ayden walked over placed his cup on the draining board and eyed me up and down and smiled.

"Fuck off Ayden she aint interested" Corban's voice caught me off guard.

"She might be you don't know what she's thinking and anyway I can look if I wont she's got a great bod" I couldn't hold back the little giggle that came out.

"Thank you2 was all I could say, he smiled at me

"Anytime, really anytime, if you get board of him and he excuse for sex you come see me" Corban put his arm around my waist to show I was with him

"Fuck off Ayden before I hit you" Ayden and me giggled

"I will keep your offer in mind" Ayden smiled at me and Corban tightened his grip around my waist. "Get out now you're not welcome anymore"

"Chill bruv I was just saying how nice your lady here is there aint nothing wrong with that" Ayden gave me one more look up and down before deciding to leave.

"Your brother seams nice" I said so just Corban could hear.

"Well im off as well, I suppose I should let you bag her again to make her see why she should chose you over Ayden" Sebastian laughed and then left.

"I hate all of them Ayden had not right to eye you up like that" Corban wasn't happy.

"He was just looking at what he can't have, let him feel jealous of what you do" and I kissed him again, I didn't want him mad. I saw the radio in the corner on and turned it on. The music started to fill the room.

"Can I have this dance" I put my arms out so Corban knew I was being serious. Then he took hold off my hand and put them over his shoulders, he put his hands on my waist and we began to sway to the music. I knew this song and it was quite fitting right now I thought, it was Oasis Wonderwall:

_Today is gonna be the day _

_That they're gonna throw it back to you _

_By now you should've somehow _

_Realized what you gotta do _

_I don't believe that anybody _

_Feels the way I do about you now _

_Backbeat the word was on the street _

_That the fire in your heart is out _

_I'm sure you've heard it all before _

_But you never really had a doubt _

_I don't believe that anybody feels _

_The way I do about you now _

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding _

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding _

_There are many things that I would _

_Like to say to you _

_I don't know how _

_Because maybe _

_You're gonna be the one who saves me ? _

_And after all _

_You're my wonderwall _

_Today was gonna be the day? _

_But they'll never throw it back to you _

_By now you should've somehow _

_Realized what you're not to do _

_I don't believe that anybody _

_Feels the way I do _

_About you now _

_And all the roads that lead to you were winding _

_And all the lights that light the way are blinding _

_There are many things that I would like to say to you _

_I don't know how _

_I said maybe _

_You're gonna be the one who saves me ? _

_And after all _

_You're my wonderwall _

_I said maybe _

_You're gonna be the one who saves me ? _

_And after an _

_You're my wonderwall _

_Said maybe _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _

As the last of the words trailed off I reached up on toes and kissed Corban on the lips with the lightest of kisses. And turned towards the bedroom, I thought it best to get dressed encase any of his other family decided to come round.

As I pulled the last of my cloths on Corban came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck and kissing round it, it pulled me round and started kissing me on the lips.

"Corban not again, what if someone else comes round for coffee and were in the middle of it" he laughed at that an let me got. I walked back into the living room and plonked myself down on the sofa. Corban came and sat by me still in his boxers but now he had a shirt on. We watched a bit of tell, I was very comfortable there in his arms watching telly. There was load grown outside I sat up and so did Corban, less than five minutes later a load knock came on the door.

"Corban go put your trousers back on" I orders him and he did as he was told an stalked off to his bedroom while I got the door. Whoever I was expecting it wasn't him. He stared deep into my eyes before he said anything. But he didn't say anything.

"Alex!" I made my voice light and excited when really I was scared and worried.

"Hey have you come to take me out?" he just looked at me and then scanned the room I was in.

"Where is he?" he asked in a angry tone, maybe I couldn't deal with angry as much as I had thought. "I said where is he?" I just kept silent "Lilly im not going to hurt him I promise" and he seamed sincere so I had to believe him. I let him pass and lead him to the living room. Corban came down the hall fully dressed and smiled in my direction before turning to see Alex. After he met Alex's gaze he knew as well as I did that maybe what we had done was not the best thing we had decided to do.

"Alex I don't wont to fight with you" Alex smiled "Because I don't wont to upset Lilly when I hurt you" that made me turn and give him a stern look "He wants to fight me as much I want to fight him, so don't look at me like that" I straightened out my face and turn my eyes to Alex who was looking at me had he figured out what I had done? Why was I such a bad person? Why had I done that? Would I ever be forgiven?

"Did you sleep with him?" yes he had figured it out and form the sound of his voice I was going to have to work very hard to be forgiven, but it wasn't me who answered.

"No. she didn't sleep with me. Im not that lucky" Corban chuckled. What was he doing? After that I didn't care Alex join in the laughing.

"Yeah I know what you mean mate" and he looked at me longingly. I went and sat by him taking his hand as I did so. It was rough after Corban's soft hands. He leaned in to kiss me and I just kissed him back so it didn't look to obvious that me and Corban had done. As Alex moved his free hand up my back to my neck I drew back and took in Corban's face, he look so unhappy and sad, I felt cruel and mean I couldn't do this to him, to anyone.

"Alex hun, we are not alone yet" Alex just laughed and took me by the waist and stood up.

"Thank you Corban for looking after _my_ girl this afternoon" Alex emphasis the word _my _so Corban got the fact we were together.

"Anytime, really anytime you need to talk again you come see me" Alex snorted as if I wouldn't be doing that anytime soon.

"Well thanks again mate speak to you soon yeah" Alex dragged me towards the door and out it. I hated being lead anywhere if I knew where I was going. Corban was following us down the stairs and outside. Alex was leading me towards a motorcycle that was muscular and black. As we approached the motorcycle Corban caught my arm and spun me round just as Alex let me go.

"I'm having a party tonight if you two want to come. It's a new term party like I always have" Corban was staring deep in my eyes as he spook search and finding something deep in me to stop himself from telling.

"Sounds great. We'll be there".

As we speed down the road I promised myself I would never leave him looking like that ever again. As long as I lived I would never leave him like that.


	8. Chapter 8

The ride home I got a bit cold, the wind whistled past me and whipped my hair into my eyes. My lips and my hands were blue when we reached my aunts house. After I peeled my hands from around Alex's waist we stood looking at each other, when he lent down an kissed me, right there, in front of my aunts house! I was sure that was not for me but for them to see. We stood there for another minute before he spook.

"Are you not going to invite me in?" I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if I wonted him to come in. I didn't know how long I stood there just looking into his deep blue eyes but I thought I could do it forever. He smiled at me and then I spook.

"Yeah come in. I will need some help chosen what to wear to the party"

When we reached the door I was still not sure if I really wonted him to come in but I really didn't have a choice as Meganne met us at the door. But she didn't meet us with a smile, more of a glare.

"Hello Meganne" Alex spoke first. Brave boy.

"Hello Alex" and she shone a very ice look at me and masked it with a fake smile.

"Hello Meganne. Alex has come to help me choice some cloths for Corban's party." She lit up like a Christmas tree at the mention of a party or maybe it was Corban's name. I wasn't sure which. We walked in greeted by a huge bear hug form Ben and a small smile from Sam. Aunt Lauran and uncle Seth came and shook hand with Alex, it was quite formal and welcoming considering that the had no reason to know that he was my boyfriend. After the meets and greets we headed up stairs, flowed closely by Meganne. When we got to my room Meganne followed in, Alex looked a bit mad, maybe he was hoping I would shoo her away. Alex plopped himself on the bed and patted beside himself, Meganne sat right next to were he had just patted; I hide a giggle at the look on his face.

"So what should I wear?" I pulled out a few tops and skirts and trousers.

"Do I not get to see what they look like on?" Alex gave me a flirty smile, I giggled.

"What about Meganne I wouldn't wont to scare her form life having to watch me change" I giggled again, but none else did.

"You can change in the bathroom and we will wait here for you" Meganne looked hopeful that I would take her idea.

"Well im sure Meganne can go and do something else while I help you decide what to wear" Alex shoot a look at Meganne im sure he didn't intend to be so mean.

"OK you don't have to be mean ill leave" Meganne was out the room before I could see the tears spill over her lids.

"That wasn't nice! You made her cry" there wasn't any need for that.

"Im your boyfriend. Not hers!" he was right I knew she was just trying to be alone with him in a room with a bed.

I pulled a few things from my wardrobe, skirts jeans and some tops but I was not in the mood now. All I could think about was the fact the Meganne really did like Alex and here I was making out with him, sleeping with him and I didn't even like him that much. Yes he was good looking. Yes he was nice. Yes he was a lovely and funny person, but I didn't feel the way I do when I look at Corban, and what right do I have to such a lovely person when 1) I don't like them that much. 2) Meganne likes him a lot more and 3) I don't deserve it. Alex walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist. He lay his hands together just on the bottom of my tummy. He tilted his head round mine so he could look in the wardrobe. He looked in the mirror at my reflection and we met staring at each other in the mirror.

"You have the most lovely blue eyes I have ever seen" I blushed "There such a rich deep blue. Its lovely" I didn't know what to say so I just turned round and kissed him. I placed my hands on either side of his face and pulled him tight.

"No. non of that I need to get changed and short out what im going to wear later"

"It wont take long" he gave my huge puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah I no. its not wreath the hassle" I started to laugh. But I had upset him, after all I was just dising his sex ability.

"Im sorry that was mean" he started to smile then.

"Well maybe now you should show me how sorry you are" and he turned and kissed me. Slipping his tongue into my open mouth. I didn't have the power to turn him down. Im sure since the accident I hadn't just turned into an alcoholic and a smoker I had also turned into a nimfo. Alex's hand moved down my back he put his hands in the top of my jeans and tugged round, being lose they fell to the floor. I did the same to him, his skin was warm and soft. We pulled off our tops and started walking towards my bed, still lip locked and passionately kissing. When our knees met the bed we fell onto it. I rolled over so I was on top of him and sat straddled over him. I slid my hands down his bare skin until I reached his boxers. I slid my hands up my tummy and round to my back. I undid the clasp of my bra and flung it on the floor, Alex lay there watching me. Then I kissed all the way down his body and pulled his boxers off as I did so. When he was nude I lay over him and felt his whole body warm and soft under mine. He rolled his hands down my back and stopping when he reached the bottom of my back. I leaned down and kissed him on the lips and then on the check. I placed my head just under his chin and lay there for a moment while he did what needed to be done. But to my great and suspicious surprise he didn't. he lay the as content as me to stay like that. I was so comfortable I wonted to know how long we could stay like that and I couldn't help wondering.

"Is something wrong?" I asked not moving my head for being to comfortable.

"No. I was just thinking. About you and me… and Corban" he added on the end

"Why am I in the same thoughts as Corban?" I laughed a light laugh not trying to make him suspicious of what we did.

"I was wondering if you were going to tell me the truth about you two this afternoon?" well we hadn't fooled him one little bit

"What do you mean?" I let confusion colour my voice.

"Please don't insult my intelligence.." I cut him sort

"I wasn't. if you would like to explain what you are talking about then I will explain"

"Lilly you were both flushed and he came from the room. And Lilly don't try and argue that you two were putting up shelf's or something because you top was the wrong way round" damn I didn't know if that was true but I couldn't give up. Play dumb. That's all I had to do. But did I won't to lie.

"Ok Alex as you are my boyfriend you have the right to know what I was doing with Corban." He looked shocked like I was going to admit it, even though he knew.

"I was showing him my underwear. I wonted to know if they looked ok for you" that seemed to work. He now looked confused and unsure if he should accuse me or not.

"Well they don't just look ok, the are fucking sexy as fuck hun" he was happy again and that seeteled me. But if I was going to keep this up I was going to have to keep playing along with not knowing.

"Alex were you trying to ask if I slept with Corban?" he blushed and turned so I couldn't see his face. "Well are you?" I made my voice angry.

"Lilly you have to understand that I didn't know what to think. He is so much better looking than me and you seam to talk to him more" he was sad

"Alex I don't really know you that well. That's why we're going isn't it? To get to know each other and care for each other"

"Yes your right. But that doesn't help me. I… I…I…"

"Just spit it out Alex"

"I don't wont you to hang around with him to much ok"

"What the fuck are you going on about Alex? He's my friend"

"I know but... Well you know why I don't wont you to hang around with him" he waited for me to understand. But I didn't.

"The same reason Ben doesn't. Ben and Corban used to be best friends till that happened again. Im sure it wouldn't have made any difference if it weren't for the fact its stronger and you're his cousin" now I understood. So what Corban said about him loving me must be true if they were all so worried.

"Is that why you're shagging me? So I don't shag Corban?"

"No. No Lilly don't think that. I never won't to hear you say that again! This is not something im doing to stop you getting hurt. Im with you because I like you. Is that really hard for you to understand?"

"Yes Alex it is. Maybe I should go" I got off him and walked nearly fully naked over to the wardrobe to get the rest of my cloths.

"But you live here" Alex protested "Lilly im sorry. I take it back. Im sorry" id had enough. I grabbed new cloths from the wardrobe, a small little black shirt and a black strap tank top. I shoved my feet in my back boots and walked out the room grabbing my hand bag and the last bottle of vodka on the bed stand as I strode out. He tried to follow but he was naked and it took him to long to get his cloths on. By the time I was out of the house and running to my car he was just reaching the door. I speed off and didn't look back.

When I reached Corban's I didn't know if this was the best place to go after all the fight I had just had was about him. Maybe it was better for everyone if I did leave. I took a long swig of the vodka and got out the car.

After four knocks I just sat outside his door and waited for him too come. It was cold and the concrete floor was as cold as ice. The wind whistled up the stairs as people came in and out of the building. I kept taking swings of the vodka and looking out the large window next to his door. My watch told me it was seven when the voices that came in the building got closer and closer. Corban was dressed in a lovely black tank top like mine- but his euphemized his muscles- and black jeans that lay over his well muscled legs. The girl next to him was utterly beautiful; she had short brown hair that feathered out around her face making her smouldering brown eyes stand out so much with the eye liner and eye shadow. She was wearing a stunning little red dress that hugged tight but showed no sign of being disturbed by a tummy. They both eyed me sat there with a bottle in one hand and the other playing with my hanging blonde hair.

"Lilly?" it was Corban who spoke first. Mean while the beautiful girl, who I assumed was his girlfriend, kept eyeing me up and down.

"Yeah. Sorry. Ill go. Your busy." I rose and headed for the stairs.

"No, no. don't be silly, Bri wont mind" he turned to the lovely girl beside him and she nodded.

"Settled then. You can come in and have some tea and we can talk" it would seam he was becoming my saviour and my personal tea maker.

When inside I was left to sit on the sofa while Bri and Corban went to the kitchen to put beers and other alcohol in the fridge, I saw him drag a very large bottle of vodka out of one of the bags and saw him look up and smile at me.

"Want some. Im sure a bit wont hurt?"

"Ill finish this first but you can pour me some if you want" Bri just looked at him and shook her head.

"So Lilly have you met the rest of out family? Seb, Ayden and Cheery?" well I hadn't met the last one.

"Well I have met Ayden and Sebastian" I said politely so Bri wouldn't get all defensive again. She didn't like me. And I didn't know why. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Well im sure you will meet Cherry later" I thought Cherry was and odd name for a person. But then again my name was quite odd for a person.

I took a few more swigs of my vodka before I realized that Corban and Bri were talking, it seamed like they were arguing but not wonting to raise their voices for me to hear.

"I can leave if you wont?" I said I a sad voice I didn't won't to leave, I hadn't got to talk to him yet

"No, no it's ok. Bri is going to go back to my parents house and we can talk" Corban looked at Bri and then slowly moved his eyes to the door making sure she knew what he was doing. He went to the door, but looked at Corban passing a message by the way she looked at him and left.

"So what the matter? Im guessing this is not a friendly visit; after all I would be seeing you in a few hours. So let's talk"

"Well it's about Alex" he sighed and I could feel all his happiness about my arrival drain from him.

"Oh. Well what's going on that make you won't to talk to me?"

"Well…" and I didn't know what to say. I couldn't ask him to stop the party so I could stay here with him until I could face Alex again. But I had to tell him what happened and see what he would say.

"Well me and Alex got talking about you and me. He said that he didn't wont me hanging around with you" I heard him grinned his teeth "And I didn't like the way he said it and why he said it. He didn't… doesn't wont me to hang around with you because he says its not safe. But I asked him if that's why he was with me and he tried to deny it, but I don't know. I won't to be friends with you. And who im friends with has nothing to do with him…" I trailed off I was about to say that I wasn't in the party mood any more and that I just wonted to sit here with him and look out his window and wait for the morning to bring some kind of relief.

"There's something more. What is it?" I guess my face had said it all because he came and sat by me and put his arm around me. I lent on his shoulder so he couldn't see my face when I said what I wonted

"Im not really in the party mood. I was hoping that you would let me stay here with you… that maybe we could have the party another day?" it wasn't as hard to say as I had thought. Once I had said it was ok, but I still felt guilty for saying it. Corban pulled a phone out of his pocket and drilled a number; there was a small thrum of the dialling tone as it connected with someone on the other end.

"Bri could you tell the rest of them that we're rearranging the party for Saturday" he turned to look at me to make sure that this was ok, I nodded "There's a problem and well I cant have the party tonight, Thanks for doing this, speak to you later" and he snapped the phone shut before she could ask why.

"Thank you" that's all I could say, there was nothing else. I pulled my feet up off the floor and curled up beside him. I was happy content and so warm and comfortable, I never wonted to move. All I wonted to do now was sleep, drink the rest of the vodka and talk to Corban.

After about ten minutes of just sitting there I felt Corban's arms get tighter around my waist, I felt is head lean on mine and his warm breath sweeping thought the strands of my hair. the phone in my pocket buzzed, as I pulled it out I wasn't sure if I wonted to talk to him. Ben was the last person other than Alex I wonted to talk to. Corban saw my delay in answering.

"I think you should talk to him. Tell him your going to stay with me for a while, you need some cloths and stuff and that you don't wont him to tell Alex where you are" I nodded, that sounded like a good plan to me. I pressed the answer button on my phone and put it to my ear.

"Lilly? Lilly are you ok? I saw Alex leave but he was on his own. What's gone on? Lilly can you hear me?" I

"Im fine thank you Ben. And as for me and Ben well we had a little fight earlier, so I don't know what's going on. In fact you probably know more than I do, seen as you saw him leave."

"Oh. Well I didn't talk to him. I wasn't sure what was going on. But he keeps ringing me to find out where you are and well… we have all been wondering the same thing."

"Well ill tell you where I am if you promise me a few things first?"

"Anything just tell me where you are and I'll come and see you"

"Well first of all I wont you to promise not to tell Alex. Ok?"

"Yeah I promise"

"Good. Well I wont you to bring me some cloths as well. I wont be staying with you lot for a while. I'll go and talk to Aunt Lauran im the morning ok."

"Yeah.Ok. But where are you?"

"I'm at Corban's" I was waiting for him to go mental at me down the phone but to mine and Corban's surprise he didn't

"Well that's good. At least you will be safe I suppose. With Seb their he wont try anything. Ill be round in ten minutes ok. Any cloths you really wont?"

"Yeah please if you could get anything out of the left side of my wardrobe and the nice underwear thanks'. Oh and Ben my wash stuff is in the bathroom cabinet."

"Sure thing. Like I said ten minutes yeah" and he was gone. Now I had nothing to worry about. Then my phone went again.

"Hello?"

"Lilly? It's Alex. Where are you? We need to talk. Now."

"Look Alex im not telling you where I am but I will come and talk to you if you won't. After all you are still my boyfriend. We can meet in the park by the collage if you won't?"

"Yeah sure. So see you in about Ten minutes" what was it with ten minutes everything was ten minutes.

"How about half and hour yeah? Because im a bit busy right now" I wonted him to think the worst of me now it would make ending this a lot easier.

"Oh. Well yeah sure. Half and hour then bye Lilly speak to you soon. Kiss"

"Yeah bye Alex" and I hung up with out making a big deal. That made it sound like I was saying goodbye, like that was the end. I didn't won't to catch him of guard with my ending of it. I turned my head to look at Corban. He was staring at me, his deep eyes seeming to seek something out in me, staring me down, but not in a bad way, more of a seeking of my soul. I tilted my head making my intentions clear. The way he made me feel was like nothing I had felt before in my whole life. He seamed to find the good in me. Which was very hard to do, he brought was right in me to the surface whenever he was near. Corban lowered his head so that his lips could lightly touch mine, he didn't go in with a big, full kiss like im sure Alex would have, but made it soft and gentle. He just pressed his lips to mine and then did it again. Then he smiled and turned away from me.

"Corban? Will you take me to the park?"

"Of cores I will. Now am I being used for safety or to make him jealous?" his accusing eyes where trying t find the answer without me having to say anything, but to be honest I had neither of those intentions.

"Well if you don't think that I could just won't to have your company and someone to keep me strong around him, well then maybe I should just go as I planed to anyway?"

"No, no im sorry please don't go. I was only joking. Im sorry" and then he gently kissed me again, but this time he pulled me onto his lap. He slid his hands down past my waist and round my legs. When his hands were at my calf he griped round them and pulled me so I had one leg either side of him. This time I kissed him it was another soft kiss; I still hadn't quiet figured him out. Was what they old me true? Did he really love? Did I really like him? Was the reason I was having problems with Alex due to the fact I was always some how thinking of Corban? Did I really won't to have such a attachment here, with people wonting me, with people loving me!? Was I going to ask him if those things were true? Yes I would. But not now, later when this mess with Alex was sorted and I knew that I was a single lady and had nothing to worry about so much.

After ten minutes of sitting there with one leg either side of Corban just laying on his chest, almost melting into him and listening to the air rush in and out of his lungs, and smelling the sweet aroma of his colon, the softness of his fresh cloths, the warmth and comforting feeling of his hands holding me in place there on his lap, the door bell rang. It was a shrill sound that made us both jump a little. There were two sharp rings one impatiently after the other. I removed myself from my covering of Corban to let him answer the door. Ben stood there dressed and clean looking. He had a stern look on his face but a sad look in his light blue eyes frosty looking but still sad. His jet black hair swept across his head and slightly over his face. He turned to me first and smiled, although his face now looked happy his eyes where worried. In his hand he had a bigish bag that obviously had my cloths in, after straightening my skirt I went over to get the bag giving him a hug as I took it off him and put if to one side. He welcomed me into his arms and held me there for a while. It felt weird, it was like I was meeting him after ages of time apart. When I had moved here we had made no affection or greeting to each other, but now when all he was doing was bringing me some cloths to stay away for a few days we were really hugging and making sure that we were both safe in that embrace.

"I brought all the stuff you wonted. I got Mum to get your underwear out. I wasn't sure that you really wonted me to chose what pants you wore for the next few days" I laughed. That was true and when I had asked for my cloths I had forgotten his discomfort with the task.

"Well thank you. I will only be a few days I promise. I just need somewhere I am really unlikely to bump into him. I no, I no you wouldn't let him in, but Meganne really likes him and I cant be sure she would turn him down. If I were you Ben id make sure you keep an eye on them too. Hel get what he wont's. no matter how he gets it!"

"Well thanks for the advance warning Lilly. I will keep that in mind. So Corban where do you want me to put Lilly's stuff?"

"Don't be silly I will hide it somewhere in here"

"In the room next to mine. I hope you don't mind Lilly it's a little small"

"What I have a room?"

"Yeah you didn't think I would let you sleep on the sofa for the next few days did you? Oh you did well I wouldn't an im not" well that had put me off. I thought id sleep out here and he would take me into his room. Maybe he didn't think I would end it properly with Alex. But if he didn't then why would he let me move in here? There was so much to think about. Him and if I liked him? Alex and how I was going to deal with it? If I was going to ask Corban about the whole Blood drinkers thing? Why was my life a mess? Why did I always get caught up in the creepy shit?


End file.
